RIP George Mason Basketball

gmubrian

All-American
⭐️ Donor ⭐️
GOLD SPONSOR
GIVING DAY 2023
Obituary for George Mason Basketball

Mr. George Mason Basketball was officially pronounced dead on 3/8/21 while resting peacefully at his home in Fairfax, VA. His friends called him Mason, and, on occasion, as an inside joke, called him James Madison. He was born on 1966 and was always rather scrawny and was never expected to amount to much.

Mason managed to garner accolades during a fluke event in 2006, though. He was traveling with a group of revolutionary battle re-enactors. He portrayed a Mid-level Major in the army. While they were in Dayton, he managed to defend the city from an invading horde of Comicon attendees who had been turned into zombies that were dressed as Tarheels and Spartans. He single handedly killed them all. The next week, while his troupe was in our nation's capital, he defended our freedom against some filthy “Shockers” and rabid Huskies that were intent on rioting. Many other re-enactors to this day have credited Mason with paving the way for other Mid level Majors. He lived in obscurity ever since that 2006 event.

Mason contracted the illness that would ultimately cause his death when his supervisor, a Mr. Toc, stopped providing him with his Cuban based homeopathic vitamins (street name Coachelle or OCM) and at the same time exposed Mason to the PH11 Virus in 2011. Mason didn’t show immediate signs of illness, but within a year his health began to fade and he nearly died in 2015.

After several years of suffering, Mason realized the issue, fired Mr. Toc and hired Mr. BBB to help cure him. Many were optimistic about Mr. BBB’s abilities to cure, but, as time would tell, he turned out to be a snake oil salesman who used Mason and his benefactors to enrich himself and his friends at the expense of Mason’s health. At Mr. BBB’s direction, Mason received the DP15 vaccination in 2015 and, initially, he was thought by many to have been cured, even though some vaccine doubters had predicted the vaccine would not prove effective for long.

Mason suffered for his remaining years and was eventually diagnosed with MT (Mediocritus Terminus). It is a slowly progressing, prolonged illness, with symptoms such as being able to practice in private but being unable to perform in public, random limbs going numb after performing flawlessly for years, and even affecting the brain, preventing him from ever taking responsibility for his own actions. It results in those so infected with being unable to do anything really well. Some say it is an illness worse than death.

As with many suffering from a terminal illness, Mason had shown a brief resurgence in the weeks just before his passing. Mr. G.M. Basketball is survived by 17 fans who all expressed that they are glad that his suffering (and theirs) has been ended. There is reportedly one survivor named "Herndon" who thinks the reports of Mason's death are premature.
 
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KAOriginal

All-American
The longer they don't recognize any superlatives......the longer the program can just languish without repercussions.

If you remember good things, then you will expect more good things.

That's the Mason Way.
 

GMUgemini

Hall of Famer
⭐️ Donor ⭐️
The longer they don't recognize any superlatives......the longer the program can just languish without repercussions.

If you remember good things, then you will expect more good things.

That's the Mason Way.

To cry is to remember. To not cry is to forget. We do not cry for Mason hoops and thus Mason hoops never was.
 

phoenix-arizona

All-American
Michigan State is now sponsored by (or Presented By) Rocket Mortgage so maybe GMU Patriots can get sponsored (or Presented) by Mountain Dew or something.
 

gmujim92

Hall of Famer
GIVING DAY 2023
This is the MOST positive thing I heard all year.

Should we invest in some COVID infected call girls to make the rounds?

Dave has to be running the cost-benefit analysis on his NIT incentive to see if the hookers would be worth the trouble
 
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